‘Tater Brick Sketch


Bizarro is brought to you today by Couch Potato with Cheese.

This gag is a collaboration between myself and Andy Cowan, former writer for Seinfeld, Cheers, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and some other stuff. He had a different idea about what the last panel should say, or what you should call people who are always on their phone in public, but I won because it’s my cartoon. Sorry, Andy.

Ideally, Andy and I would like this phrase to catch on nationally. I’ll need the help of all of my Jazz Pickles, of course, so if you share my vision, every time you see someone paying attention to their phone instead of the real world around them, call them a “palm potato.” If it worms its way into the lexicon, we can claim we did this together. Won’t that be fun?

Another term I’d like you to help me spread across the globe is “nilla.” This is to be used when a white person is generally addressing another white person. As in: Nilla be crazy, Who’s my nilla? etc.  Okay, get to it!

Now that we’re on the subject of cell phone use, here’s a handy invention of mine that will combine your exercise routine with your palm potato-ness. If you like the idea (and admit it, you do), this is your lucky day. I’m offering this special discount to Jazz Pickles only: deposit $20 in my PayPal tip jar (upper right corner of this blog page) and I’ll mail you a couple of rubber bands you can use to strap your phone to a brick of your choice. That’s only half the price of the advertised product, plus the shipping!

Now we come to the man who arrived at the doctor’s too late. Poor man. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but it is clearly too late to do anything for him. Unless he goes to a fully-drawn doctor immediately. But of course, that would cost too much money for a man who does not even own pants.



Finally, here is one of my favorite gags in a while, also a collaboration with Mr. Cowan. Next time you see a “dip” sign, look for the chips. They can’t be far away.









20 thoughts on “‘Tater Brick Sketch

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  3. Ummm…? Sorry Dan but Palm Potato sounds like a preschool song, “Palm potato, two potato, three potato four.” Saying *couch* potato is vocally derogatory like hackin’ up a fur ball, besides potatoes are traditionally stationary. How about Palm Zombie to describe those brainless, inattentive, walking dead? “Look out! Palm Zombie ahead.” Hunh?

      • Perhaps with the eruditically-evolved, elocutionary elite- But here in Boston it becomes ‘Pahm B’dayduh’ which is mnemonics for a stripper crossing the stage. ‘Pahm B’dayduh’…Pahm B’dayduh’ … Must be a regional thing. You do have the Bible Belt on board with Psalm Potato for those obsessed with tweets from Gahd.

      • But it *does* have very nice assonance and internal alliteration on the M’s… “Paaahlmmm Zaaahmmmbie” =)

      • Actually, I like how the product trade name “Palm Pilot” became a subtler alternative term for “jerk-off” or “wanker”, as in hey, get off the goddamn’ dime, ya’ frickin’ palm pilot!

  4. Our dip shtick on encountering a “Dip” sign is for the first to see it call out “Dip!” to which the other responds with something like “Nerd!” Always good for a laff!

    I’ll try to remember the chips bit, but I’m not much of chips-n-dips person.

  5. Palm potato, I like it, Oh Great Pickler! I will start using it. Who knows, maybe nek minnit it will catch on in New Zealand. Like “nek minnit”…. and ghost chips…. and “Monique says you’re dumb”….

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