Tweeting Feet Drag Parrot


Bizarro is brought to you today by Crack Repair.

When I was a kid, I always watched the Olympics and dreamed of one day competing in them. I’ve always been a pretty good athlete and was the fastest runner of anyone I knew, so I figured if I just kept practicing, someday I’d have a gold medal. Life isn’t that simple, of course, and as I got older, I became distracted by other endeavors that I found more satisfying like art, music, theater, girls, beer. I doubt I’ll even have time this year to watch much of the Olympics but so be it. The synchronized tweeting event is kind of dull anyway.

In this next cartoon, I think I made the wine stains on the tablecloth a little too dark. It looks like blood. I didn’t mean to imply that he actually injured his date with his footsie competitiveness, I just wanted it to look like she fell over and spilled her wine. In spite of the letters I will likely get from MAKG (Mothers Against Kicking Girls), I still think this is a funny gag.


Here’s a little joke that came from my known associate, Wayno. His submission was so well resolved that I didn’t change a thing about it, just drew it in my style with a heavy nod to Charles Addams’ style. Here’s what he has to say about it on his blog.






And finally, we come to the odd parrot. If it makes you feel just a little sad to see a dog in a cage, think how your pet bird feels and consider setting him free. If I were a parakeet, I’d rather have a few days of flying around a neighborhood trying to figure out what the hell happened and looking for things to eat, than years sitting in a cage wondering what my wings are for. But that’s just my opinion.


My latest book of Bizarro cartoons is here.

My FrontOfYourHeadBookPage is here.


14 thoughts on “Tweeting Feet Drag Parrot

  1. Pingback: Tweeting Feet Drag Parrot « Humor

  2. How can I submit suggestions for captions? My local newspaper has a CapCon contest every two weeks and I would like to see your artwork before the captions are added. I have never won the contest, or even placed, but I enjoy trying. Please let me know. Thank you.

    • Thanks for the request, Theresa. I’ve done caption contests in the distant past and didn’t like them. It basically makes one person happy (the winner) and annoys the rest of your readers. So I gave them up. Hope this explanation helps. :o)

  3. I tried, in vain, to find the link, but essentially, there are some people who learned to speak very late in life. They were born deaf, and only learned to sign in their 20s. This is in a less developed part of the world. When somebody asked one what he thought about before he learned language, his response was that he couldn’t recall thinking. In that light, it is very unlikely that a budgie would even be able to consider ahead of time, as you do, whether inside or outside is better, or what their wings are for… although they probably do instinctively prefer open spaces. It may indeed be that being caged stresses them, or it may be that it doesn’t, since basically all of them come from farms, and they’ve never seen the outside of a cage.

    Humans are more-or-less the only animal capable of thinking in the way that your theoretical parakeet does. So, I suspect you’re personifying a bit. Not surprising since a large chunk of your art has personified animals in it. I think your analysis of the situation says more about what a nice guy you are than what a bad situation parakeets have.

    Personally, having had a budgie as a pet as a child, I suspect that being a family pet does almost always stress out budgies, and it may be better not to keep them as pets unless you can give them an environment where they can fly around, instead of clipping their wings so they cannot get away from you. I suspect that would be terrifying for any animal.

    Recently, I’ve read up on ways that you can train them so that they don’t die of fright from interacting with what must seem like a huge predator, but I seriously doubt most people do that.

    I’d personally be afraid to own one now. I’d rather not risk giving a budgie a stress filled life.

  4. I think the suggestion of blood makes it funnier (even tho’ you eventually realize it’s wine). That is some hard-core footsie!

  5. Hi Dan-

    My 14 year old is a faithful reader of the comics every day. When I got home the other day he was excited to show me the footsie comic. Outstanding! Do you still sell tshirts of your comics? I would live to buy that for him.

    Keep up the good work.


  6. Pingback: New Olympic Sport: Synchronized Tweeting

  7. If it makes you feel just a little sad to see a dog in a cage… get over it! (though just to get the terminology more accurate… crate not cage). And for anyone who has issues with crating a dog, crate training, what have you, consider the “ancestral home” of the canine family… I’ll give you a hint (think “hole in the ground”).

    And just to lay to rest a dog’s opinion of a crate… after close to a year of having his crate blocked due to “clutter” I finally cleaned up the area around our dog’s metal crate (not the one we would travel with) and hadn’t even noticed that the door was open on it. The next day I walked by and noticed him sound asleep in the crate.

    SenseiC bows out

    • I’m not talking about crate training. I thought that was obvious. Dogs that can come and go from their crate are not unhappy, of course. A dog who spends his life in a tiny cage, the way pet birds do, would be driven insane.

  8. Pingback: World’s Strangest | New Olympic Game of … Synchronized Tweeting

  9. Pingback: Serious footsie - 22 Words

  10. Pingback: Serious footsie | Funri

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